Moments of Nil..

Sorry if I’m not updating as often as I used to be.. or as often as I should. There are about hundred things I wanted to say, yet something is holding me back from expressing them all.

Have you ever experience “nil moments”? When you feel nothing at all, not even numbness..? Like the world suddenly stood still and take a breather, and you feel this “blankness/nothingness” inside you.

You wanted to share to everyone, especially your family and friends, everything that is happening to you, but you don’t know how or where to begin, coz you feel… blank. Not sad, not happy. Just blank. Nothing.

I know there’s a mental block.. How about blocked/blank feelings? What do you call that?..

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Daily Advice

” Look for sunshine behind every dark cloud. “

that’s exactly what i’ve been doing for the past few weeks. every time i feel like on the verge of depression, i think of a happy thought. i think of my family and friends who cares, believe and support me, then i won’t feel so sad anymore. and plus the fact that i don’t ever wanted to be called “emo” helps a lot on that part, ahaha! :D

and speaking of depression. last nite we were watching on the history channel the seven deadly sins. the sin they featured last nite was the “sloth”. for what i understood about sloth is… it means extreme laziness. people who don’t do anything, but lie and wait for something to happen to them (on their life). also for me, sloth is another word for slowpoke.

well, according to history channel, sloth was defined as “depression” or “melancholia” centuries ago; before some ancient people from the years-gone-by changed its meaning.sorry, i couldn’t elaborate more on this, coz i was also drying the dishes that time, and was just going to and fro from kitchen to living room, to gather much info on this.

for what i’ve understood, people who suffered from melancholia forgets how to live. due to their depression, all they do is lie down and think of nothing else except of their impending doom. they don’t eat; not even drink. they make no effort at all to divert their sadness to other things. they lose hope, which eventually pushed them to commits suicide.

and so it becomes a sin. God gave us life to live and hope, and by not doing so, is like turning away from what he offers. we have no right to take away what he imparts to us, especially life.

so whatever happens; no matter how hard life gets, we should always try to move on and never give up. we can cry, scream or throw tantrums in the air anytime; we may even get mad. but after that, we should learn how to stand up on our own and greet whatever challenges comes our way with a smile. :)

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Gathering

yesterday, rita and i went to sandey’s wedding reception at I-Lotus restaurant, around 7pm. edward (with his parents) drove us all there. note: i went to rita’s place and left my car there first before we went to the resto.

we were one of the firsts to arrive there, and so we’re able to choose table. i was feeling dizzy then. rita and edward are both suffering from minor colds as well. actually, i’m having mind-debate whether to go or not, coz i already had slight fever and sore-throat since morning; but then i remember, sandey hand-picked her visitors to attend her special day, and we’re one of those few who got selected. that means, we are one of her closest friends and we therefore,  must come. we also wanted to see and support her  on her special day, we know she feels very nervous, so even though we’re all not feeling well, we went.

next to come, are angie, with her husband and 2 daughters, and wei2 i (who has a cold, too); and last, is siti aminah. they’re also one of our closest friends. they were the previous staff at my working place (FCS); it is there where we all meet and became friends. :)

we spend the night eating, drinking (water, tea and 7UP) and listening to people karaoke-singing. we saw sandey glowing with happiness. i’m surprised she didn’t burst into tears. she’s so pretty and her gowns fit her well. her groom (aik song) was actually one of her students before at FCS. that’s where they met. it was siti aminah who introduced them.. and the rest is history, ahaha! i really don’t know the details, sorry :D anyway, he looks bursting with happiness, too – you know, like he’s the luckiest man in the world. aw~ :D

unfortunately, we couldn’t take pics of the event. they hired ‘professional’ photographers for that. sandey might post the pix on facebook soon, when she’s not so busy anymore, and i’ll try to post it here once i have it.

i reached home at 10.50pm feeling soo full from all the liquid-intakes and the scrumptious meals.

ahh.. life is a bliss, especially if it’s spend with family and close friends :)

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